If you didn't know, she's the one am marrying

Now back to serious business, am thinking of marrying now. Not because I want to be married but because it is the right thing to do. Not because most of my friends are tying the knot, but because it is God's command. Because I want to be more responsible and I want to fulfill that which God started.
And guess what am marrying A rabecca, the one who will give me a Jacob, she is A ruth, from which the root of Jesse will emanate, she is an Elizabeth, to give me the greatest prophet who will baptise people with water!
And guess what she is
Her body is not tattoed! At least only her ears are pierced, she is a natural mystic.
she shows aptitude in every kind of learning!
first in understanding and slow in speech!
She is not a gossiper!
she is not a whiner and a complainant!
Her hair is natural, those wigs from dead horses and dead Indians can never be part of her beauty
She is not obsessed with wearing animal skin colours, like tigers, cheetahs, leopards and pythons, I cant stand demons in my house
Her chest is well covered, there's no way I can consume public utilities!
Her thighs are also well covered, I don't need a hoe!
She is not obsessed with Junk food at Galitos restaurant, I don't need to struggle with cancer and other cholesterol related infections in my middle age.
Her english is pure: I cant stand statements such as "please dear, I kulad your chocolate" how many teenagers will I be rearing, children and the wife?
She is not into soap opera's, at least this makes her reasoning above board. I can't stand such obsession in the house!
She has a natural skin and she doesn't use sophisticated appliances! why should my wife age twice as fast as I do!
She is God fearing! But she's not the kind who were wasted in college, those who cannot even remember the name of their boyfriends the time they stepped in college! She's not the kind of woman who ran to church because there is where she has hopes for a husband after years of debauchery and excessive pleasure, I cannot eat the vomit of a dog. She is not the kind of woman who thinks our finances are our future. she knows that our salvation is a matter of life and death! without salvation, our marriage looses its foundation!
And by the way, in the absence of Sarah, Rabecca comforted Isaac, in the absence of my mother, she is my comfort. It is as simple as that! Oooh yeah!